Insecurities Outakes
by JamesRamsey
Summary: Please make sure that you read my story Insecurities first or these chapters will not make any sense. These are chapters that were written but really didn't flow with the original story. Never the less they demanded to be told. AU/OC Non Cannon
1. Chapter 1

Outake 1 - Insecurities

A/N: As usual Twilight and all its characters belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer

A/N: So many of you asked for this so here it is. Carlisle's conversation with Edward.

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I dreaded the conversation I was about to have with my son. Jasper had just left with Bella tucked in the back seat of my Mercedes, headed for the wilds of Northern Ontario. Esme, my beautiful wife was distraught at how Bella's birthday had turned out and the distance that was now necessary. She had elected to leave and meet Rosalie rather than sit through my meeting with Edward.

When Bella had cut her finger on the wrapping paper my thoughts had immediately gone to Jasper; he had always been the one that had struggled the most with our diet. Being an empath in a house with six other vampires meant that he had to deal with feeling the thirst of those same six vampires on top of his own. He had not had an accident in many years and I wanted to be sure that this would not push him. Seeing him thrashing in Emmett's arms and fighting Rosalie, to my shame, I was sure that he had lost control.

"Edward No!!!!" That one cry from Jasper had me spinning to see the bronze head of my son in a position that I had never seen and hoped I would never have to. At first glance it had appeared that Edward had simply thrown himself across Bella in order to protect her. I hoped that he was instinctively protecting the woman that he saw as his mate. My more rational mind knew better. It recognized the position of hunter and prey.

Bella's arms had at first appeared to be embracing Edwards shoulders like a woman being laid down by her lover. They quickly moved to his chest in a futile attempt to push him from her.

Bella, the beautiful human girl, who loved us all despite the fact that we were the starring figures in horror films, had a look of disbelieving terror on her face. Her eyes were locked with Jasper's and one small pale hand reached out to him in a wordless plea for help.

Everyone had frozen. Jasper was instantly released but Esme was the first to react. She was the closest and stood the best chance but I watched as Edward threw her across the room and into a wall. Emmett who loved Bella as a funny little sister and Rosalie who envied her sprang into action next. Their thoughts were easily read by Edward and he had reacted instantly. Rosalie was swung into Emmett and the two of them were thrown through the front window and into the yard like discarded toys.

I shook my head and stopped myself from reliving the horrific events of the evening again. Retreiving my phone from the desk I called Rosalie

"Hi Dad" Rosalie only rarely called me Dad. It displayed the depth of her inner turmoil that she did so now.

"Hello Rose. Could you and Emmett please escort Edward back to the house? I would like to speak with him." I could barely recognize my own voice

"Of course. Esme?" She was wordlessly asking me if Esme was sitting in on the meeting as well.

"If you could please meet your Mother by the river after you have accompanied Edward to the house she would appreciate it." I know my poor wife's heart was breaking on so many levels. Rosalie would help her

Her voice was firm when she spoke next "Emmett will stay at the house." She didn't ask and to be honest was grateful. Emmett may be the goofball of the family but he was very level headed and had the greatest chance outside of Jasper to gain control of Edward should things go wrong.

A few minutes later Edward entered my study without a hint of remorse on his face. Emmett shook his head as he was closing the door behind him. I heard him take up a post in the hall giving us the illusion of privacy. Edward sat in one of the chairs opposite my desk and after a moment I replayed everything that had happened that evening in my mind. His face remained impassive. There was no sign of remorse, regret, or shame. "Why Edward?"

A look of arrogance settled on his features "She was my singer. From the day she was born her blood was mine. I watched Emmett devour his singer; it was over much too quickly. I knew it would be better to prolong my enjoyment. Being around her blood constantly, knowing I could resist its bouquet was the ultimate high. My personal control was a sure sign of my superiority."

I knew he could hear my every thought and how sickened I was. It didn't seem to matter to him at all "Did you ever love her?"

His smile was condescending "You have no idea how perfect she was for me. She was born to be mine. Her blood sang to me and her mind gave me peace after 100 years of static. How could I not love such a treasure?"

"But Edward she is a person. She has feelings and hopes; she looked at us and saw only the good in us. How could you manipulate her that way? She loves you." I couldn't understand how he could treat sweet Bella this way

He frowned clearly confused "I treated her very well Carlisle. What did I do wrong? I protected her, fed her, took her out for exercise, and made sure she was in a healthy environment; I looked after her. Why shouldn't I get to keep her, especially since she was so obviously mine."

"She isn't a pet Edward!" I couldn't stop myself from yelling, I could hear Emmett's low growl coming from the other side of the door. He was clearly upset about Edward's perception of Bella as well.

I felt sick. I knew he didn't understand what true love was. We had spend the better part of a century together and he had learned nothing.

He smiled knowing my mind but when he heard my next thoughts his face fell to one of dismay and confusion.

"Rosalie will drive you to the airport. Once there you will board a plane headed for New York. Then you will connect to a flight bound for Alaska. Eleazar will be waiting for you in Denali. You are to stay with the Denali coven for the foreseeable future." He hated even visiting the Denali's because of the three sisters that lived there. Tanya in particular was very aggressive in her attempts to seduce Edward. He also found being around Eleazar and Carmen to be restrictive. They believed in order and discipline; having three succubi in the house made it a must or they would have been discovered decades ago. Edward tried to protest but I continued.

"You will not visit us or contact any of us unless it is through Eleazar. This is non-negotiable Edward" I looked at him long and hard and saw only defeat on the face of a petulant child.

"This time my son, you will have to face the consequences of your actions. I have failed your mother, Elizabeth; I will do my best to make it right. I love you too much to let you continue to be the spoiled child you have become. You will wait in your room until Rosalie and Emmett come for you." He knew he was dismissed and without another word he left the room.

I couldn't stay in the same house with him right now. As I ran into the night to join my wife I thought of my new daughter and the additional pain that the cross country trip would cause her. My precious Bella, who only ever thought of others and who loved us for the beings that we aspired to be and not for the monsters that we were. She saw the world through rose colored glasses.

I could only pray that she would forgive us.


	2. Chapter 2

Outtake 2 – Alice finds her Mate

A/N: As usual Twilight and all its characters do not belong to me they belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer – thank you for allowing me to play in your world.

**~ As the M rating suggests - if you are under 18 you shouldn't be reading this fic. It contains dark themes and sexual material. ~**

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I looked around the room in complete boredom. I was only here because it made Annie happy to see all the 'pretty people'. She loved to come to New York's Fashion Week for the parties we attended, and the colourful clothes she wanted to buy. I sighed seeing her clapping her hands in time to the music and dancing with a, clearly smitten, young human man. I would have to keep a close eye on her as usual. The girl couldn't be left to her own devices for long. She was as vacuous as she was beautiful, and that was really saying something. Apparently vampire venom can't heal everything. She was a huge responsibility, but I wouldn't ever abandon her. She was the only connection I had left to my beloved Mary Alice.

I felt the pain of her loss as if it had been yesterday. My father and creator, Samuel, and I had been living in Biloxi, Mississippi in 1920. He was working in an insane asylum trying to better the lives of the poor souls that were incarcerated there. Most of the time, they were people who were committed by their own families because they couldn't afford another mouth to feed. The patients were submitted to horrific 'treatments' to try to cure their insanity.

Samuel convinced me to become an orderly there to learn to control my thirst around humans. There was one there that he had described as smelling particularly tempting, that would be a good test for me. I had only been a vampire for about thirty years and hated drinking animal blood. Samuel was adamant, that hunting humans was a sin against god. That if we gave in to the urges within us, we would be forever barred from heaven. Samuel had been a priest before he was turned. His belief in god was still strong, but now he practiced medicine in the hopes that his faith and good deeds would outweigh the curse of his immortality.

My first day at the asylum, was the first day that I was thankful for my father's edict. I met my Mary Alice. Had I not kept to my father's diet, I would have fallen on her and killed her the first chance I got. Her delectable scent had drawn me to the basement, where she and another girl named Anne were housed together in a small, dark, cement cell deep in the darkest part of the basement of the asylum.

I found them my first night, being cruelly used by two of the other regular night orderlies. My little Mary Alice was pinned to the floor by a large man; crying and reaching out to Annie, who was catatonic as the other orderly similarly grunted over her across the room. Needless to say, Samuel and I had had to do a very quick cleanup. Samuel had not been pleased. Although he was proud of the fact, that not one drop of the men's blood had crossed my lips. I had refused to soil my body with their filth.

Mary Alice had been committed by her parents only two days before, because she claimed to have 'feelings', feelings about the future. I think the real reason that they condemned her to the hell of the asylum, was because she was quite often right. The so called, God Fearing people, discarded her because of an ability that they didn't understand. She was a beautiful girl of nineteen with long beautiful raven hair and was as delicate as a fairy. The week after she was committed, the 'doctors' cut off all her beautiful hair to try to reduce the fever that was causing her mania. I can still hear her crying these ninety years later.

I would come to the hospital each night, dreading seeing the results of her daytime treatment. She and Annie were subjected to the most extreme treatments that the 'hospital' had to offer. Shock machines, ice baths, electro-convulsive therapy, opium treatments. The poor girls were kept in the dark 24 hours a day and the only kindness they had received, had been from Samuel and me.

Each night I would get there to find Mary Alice trying to care for Annie. My precious girl would always be singing softly to her or helping her to eat. Poor Mary Alice would be bruised, battered and shaking from her own treatments but she was constantly trying to comfort her cell mate.

Annie had been there much longer than Mary Alice and the previous orderlies had raped her almost every night. The physical abuse of the repeated rapes, on top of the daily therapies, had broken her completely. Her short blonde hair would have been a beautiful white blonde, if not for the filth of the cell and her small body was almost as petite as my Mary Alice's. They were contrasting sides of the same beautiful coin and the world had thrown them away.

The two girls lived in worlds of their own, and had rarely acknowledged my presence except to retreat farther into themselves. I would watch as Mary Alice would mumble to her cellmate about the life she lived before and how she loved to dance. Before the visions started she had been a ballerina. She would cry, promising to 'not see the visions anymore', if only her mother would love her again. She would cry for her sister Cynthia.

On bad nights, she would get a glazed look and speak about the man who would save them from this place, and the family that would take care of them. She would tell Annie not to be scared, that the angel doctor would take care of them; that they would have a new mother who loved them. My dead heart would break every time she would plead for the family that she had created in her head, to save her.

One night on the way to work, Samuel and I smelled another vampire lurking around. The nomad said the asylum was the perfect place to hunt and that his ultimate meal was waiting for him, the scent had lured him there. Samuel and I kept watch day and night for several days, each time he got too close we would manage to thwart his efforts. He would taunt us with threats of mass murder, risking our exposure. He offered to go away if we would only give him his prize. I was horrified to realize that his ultimate meal was my precious little Mary Alice.

On the night my existence came crashing down, I had been chasing the vampire, James, but he had eluded me. I went back to the asylum to find Samuel, but the place was covered in the nomad's scent. He had doubled back. I ran to Mary Alice and Annie's cell, terrified at what I might find. Annie was lying on the floor; she had been bitten, but James had obviously been interrupted. She was changing. I could smell both the nomad and Samuel, but they were gone, as was my Mary Alice.

I carried Annie out of the asylum and into the night, never to return. While Annie changed I took the time to look for Samuel and Mary Alice, frantic to find them before Annie woke to her new life. Hours before Annie's awakening I found the ashes of Samuel. Over the years I had searched for my precious Mary Alice, in the hopes that she had survived, but it was all in vain. Even if she had somehow gotten away, she would be long dead by now. It was a piece of my soul that I would not get back.

I was brought back to the present when Annie came bouncing up.

"Aren't you having fun Randall?" her voice was soft pitched and sweet but she didn't realize the effect it had on most men.

The night I found her, she had been recovering from the lobotomy the doctors had performed that day. It had been a new cutting edge treatment for the insane. Now, even after the healing effects of the vampire venom running through her veins, she had the mental capacity of a very innocent six year old child, and possessed very few vampire traits like our increased mental capabilities and memory. She knew right from wrong and was generally a very good girl but I had to direct her and take care of her in almost every way. She had not progressed one bit since the night she woke to this life.

"I'm fine, Annie. Are you having fun dancing?"

She nodded happily, "I love the music and all the pretty lights!"

"You make sure you stay where I can see you okay, no leaving with a stranger? And remember not to bite anyone like we talked about." She was normally a good girl, but I didn't need tonight to be an exception in front of all these humans.

"I promise, Randall. I'm not really thirsty right now anyway. Can I go dance some more?" she looked up at me hopefully with an angelic smile.

"May you go and dance some more?" I corrected her.

She sighed "May I go and dance some more? Please?"

"Of course you can." I chuckled and then kissed her forehead.

I watched her for a while, wishing that I could be as happy and carefree as she was; wondering what my life would be like if it had been Mary Alice that had been in the cell, instead of Annie. I shook my head. Such thoughts were pointless.

I scanned the room, and as I looked towards the entrance, I was struck by what I saw. Had all my musings and ruminations about the past caused me to hallucinate? I had never heard of a vampire hallucinating before, but there before me, was my very own Mary Alice.

She had not aged a day and was even more beautiful than I remembered. She was still extremely thin and adorably small. Her short inky black hair was carefully styled to enhance her elfin beauty. Large eyes were framed by long, delicate eyebrows making her look even more like a fairy princess than before. My Mary Alice was a vampire.

As I watched, her expression melted from one of happy expectation, to complete blankness. Her beautiful eyes glazed over and her mouth opened, murmuring much too fast for the average human to be able to follow. She swayed as if she would fall and I hurried to her side to steady her. Having her in my arms was beyond anything I could have imagined. Her head fit perfectly into the curve of my shoulder, her small body pliant against my own frame of 5'9". Now that I was closer, her face held horror and she kept repeating the same names over and over. Jasper and Carlisle.

I took her purse from her hands and opened it. Inside I found a cell phone, scrolling through the contacts I quickly found the listing for a, Jasper. I dialled it but after 6 rings it went to voicemail. I hung up quickly, growing more worried about Mary Alice. I dialled the listing for Carlisle and a smooth voice answered.

"Hello Alice. How are you enjoying New York so far?"

I didn't quite know what to say without alarming the man on the other end "Is this Carlisle?"

"Yes. Who is this? Where is Alice?" Carlisle was very worried and obviously loved the young woman beside me.

"My name is Randall. I'm here with Mary Alice, she seems to be in some kind of trace and is quite distressed. I wasn't sure how to help her and she keeps saying your name over and over. I thought that if I called you, you might be able to tell me how to help her." I spoke at vampire speed to avoid arousing the suspicion of the nearby humans, it would also tell him that I was a vampire like him.

"This is important; you need to ask her what she is seeing." His voice was steady and I realized that Mary Alice's 'feelings of the future' had manifested into a vampire gift.

I was instantly protective; hoping that the man I spoke to wasn't using her for his own ends. "Listen, if you're using her for your own gain you can forget it, I'm-"

He cut me off, "Our whole family is in danger from an army of newborns, so I will thank you to do as I've said and ask her what she is seeing. Her existence could depend on it!"

That got my attention.

I guided her over to a vacant couch and sat her down, making a joke to a curious human about her not being able to hold her liquor. I sat the phone on the table in front of us so the man, Carlisle, would be able to hear what she said. "Mary Alice, what do you see sweetheart?"

"Jasper. Jasper is frozen. Rose is being ripped apart! He's going to rape her." Her voice broke on a sob and I pulled her into my arms, my chest aching to see her so upset.

She took a deep breath and started to shake "Oh God! I have to help him!"

"Who, princess? Who do you have to help?"

"Jasper! I have to get to Jasper! He's ripping him apart! They're both going to die!" She started to struggle in my arms, but I held her tightly.

Then, as quickly as it had started, she sagged in my arms crying.

I picked up the phone with my free hand. "Did you hear all that?"

"Yes, tell her we're leaving now. We're on our way and to meet us there. Can you make sure she is safe for the next few minutes? The more horrible visions take a lot out of her." His voice was filled with concern for the small girl in my arms.

"She will never come to any harm with me around." I assured him. I would never let her out of my sight again. I had already lost her once. I wouldn't happen again.

"Thank you, Randall. My family and I are in your debt."

The call ended just as Annie came skipping up to us. "Why is she so sad, Randall?"

"She just saw something that scared her, Annie, that's all. Be a good girl and sit down quietly for a minute, okay?" I rocked the fragile angel in my arms, desperate to comfort her.

Soon she stifled her sobs and pulled back from me. I brushed her hair back off her face and cupped her cheek. "I have been looking for you for a very long time, Mary Alice."

She looked at me in wonder. "I knew I'd find you." She reached up to tentatively touch my cheek, "What's your name?"

"Randall and this is my sister, Annie." We stared at each other as if we were the only ones in the room.

Suddenly she pulled back looking sad and frantic. "I have to leave. I have to help my family." She was gathering up her purse and cell phone.

I was panicked. She couldn't leave! I wouldn't let her go! The man, Carlisle said that they were all in danger. There was no way she was going without me. "We're coming with you." I stated, leaving no room for argument.

"Me, too?" Annie piped up from behind me.

I answered her without taking my eyes off of my Mary Alice. "Yes, you too, Annie."

I could feel her start to bounce on her seat behind me. "Yay! We get to go on vacation!"

Mary Alice looked past me with an incredulous look on her face and then back to me in confusion.

"Vacation?" she whispered.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll have to explain about Annie. Later. Come on, we have someplace you need to be?"

"You shouldn't come with me. My family is in danger. I can find you when it's over." She was shaking her head and looked like she was about to bolt.

I grabbed her hand stopping her from leaving me. "We're coming." I stated firmly, leaving no room for argument. I had lost her ninety years ago, I wouldn't lose her again.

She nodded and took my hand; we left quickly, Annie skipping happily behind us.

We decided to take the first plane out of JFK to Toronto, Canada. I set Annie up with her iPod so she could watch movies for the duration of the flight. It would give Mary Alice and me a chance to talk without her interruptions. The first class seats were wide and comfortable, but my little Mary Alice stayed cuddled into my side.

She looked up at me with wonder in her eyes. "How is it that your voice is so familiar?"

I frowned slightly. "What do you remember of your past?"

A frown creased her brow. "Nothing. I only remember waking up to this life. I found out a little bit by accident. Last year my family had a run in with some nomads. One of them kidnapped my sister and in the process of trying to kill her, told her that he had tried to kill me when I was human. He killed my creator for changing me before he could drink my blood. I did some research and found out my full name, and that I had been committed to an insane asylum in Biloxi, Mississippi. I know I had a sister named Cynthia. Her daughter is still alive and lives there still. But I don't remember anything from my human life, not even the burn of the change."

Anger burned through me at the thought of James getting so close to my Mary Alice again. I had hoped that someone would have killed him off a long time ago.

I nodded. "The asylum is where we met. Your creator's name was Samuel. He was my father, creator and friend. Annie was your cell mate."

I watched as her eyes widened and I told her everything I knew, from the time I met her, until the time that I lost her; leaving out only the fact that I loved her and some of the more gruesome details. She listened carefully as I explained about Annie and my theories as to why she was so damaged. She was silent for such a long time that I was afraid that she was upset.

"That's why you call me Mary Alice." She murmured softly.

I nodded. "Speak to me. Tell me what you're thinking about. I don't want you to hate me."

She looked up at me in wonder. "Why on earth would I hate you? You and Samuel did everything in your power to save me."

"Because I lost you. You were left to wander alone. You didn't have anyone to guide you and teach you about this life, no one to love you." I broke off thinking I had said too much.

She chuckled. "None of that was your fault. I think I should tell you a bit about my life before you go thinking that I have had it all bad."

She told me of her visions, of meeting Jasper in the 1950's and their search for the Cullens. As happy as I was to hear that she had such a large and loving family, it just about killed me to hear that she had a husband. Not once did she call him her mate though.

"And Jasper?" I had to ask. She obviously cared for him a great deal. I had loved this woman for over 90 years. The thought of not being able to have her now was like a lance through my chest.

She smiled. "Jasper is my very best friend. We finally divorced four months ago after living as friends for the past two years. He's mated to my new sister, Bella. It's their house we're going to."

Joy and hope raced through me. She wasn't mated! She wasn't even married! Wait...

"So, if you are all in such danger, why on earth were you in New York?"

She laughed and kissed my cheek. "I went there to find my mate. I went there to find you, silly."

I looked at the incredible creature in my arms and marvelled that fate had given her back to me. I cupped her cheek in my hand and looked deep into her beautiful golden eyes. She was real, she was here. I lowered my lips to hers and tasted her for the first time. She moaned low in her throat and the sound of it went through me like lightening; stirring parts of me that I had never felt before. The kiss ended and I rested my forehead on hers, both of us breathing more deeply than was necessary.

"I'm never letting you go again." was all I said.

She smiled brightly at me and looked like she would cry happy tears if she had been able.

I pulled her deeper into my arms, nothing else mattered. There would be plenty of time to get to know each other later. Right now, for the first time in 90 years, I was happy.

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A/N: In Breaking Dawn, Randall is one of the American nomads that Emmett and Rose find to witness Renesmee's growth. No information is given other than his name, so I took the liberty of creating a character and background for him. Making the connection to Alice was just fun. We will see more of Randall and Annie when they get back to the Whitlock homestead. I hope you love Randall as much as I do. He has quite the story of his own.

Please leave a review as I would love to hear what you think of the two new characters.


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